A lost war is a heavy burden. Some German soldiers added up to 10 years as a POW in Siberia. Many died in the camps, some died after returning home when eating their first big meal for years. Others discovered their wives had remarried and committed suicide. Those who made it back into normal life, weren't acknowledged for what they had done, but they weren't despised either.
Having returned from war, the former soldiers worked extremely hard and disciplined. Maybe a coping strategy to get along with what they had experienced during the war. Germany soon prospered. The "omertà", that is, the principle of remaining silent about Nazism, was common sense until the late 60ies. The early years of the Federal Republic were characterized by strict conservatism. Everybody felt he or she had done something wrong. Nobody was interested to talk about it, knowing that some brutal guys would get away with it then.
When veterans met, they would discuss how they might have won WWII: "If I'd been in charge at the Ostfront, I'd taken all Panzers together at one point and hit the “Ivan” in the north where he least expected…"
Besides, their recipes were strikingly similar: Push harder, focus more, ignore casualties, and produce more "Wunderwaffen". Some regarded Hitler as a visionary man, who lost WWII because "too many hounds soon catch the hare". Most of the veterans I talked to were farmers. They made a little extra money cutting wood in the winter. And while they sat at the fireplace to warm up, they'd sing Russian songs. Stockholm syndrome came alive.
I had contact with many former Nazis.
Only a few I've met displayed attitudes and feelings as one would expect, that is, feelings of guilt, empathy for the victims, and anger about the lies they had been told. These “soft guys” seemed to be lucky, the war was over, and they had come out alive. Nazi times weren't good times for them. They preferred not to be reminded of that. They would escape in some bonhomie gesture: “It's good this is over, my boy”.
The majority of them pleaded “not guilty” when asked. “I had to follow orders, and we had an oath…” They wouldn't talk much.
The normal soldiers were better off than former victims of the Nazis, or people who had fled into exile. Among the survivors, they were the most frustrated. Never recognized, if not despised for leaving the country in times of war, they had to witness some big former Nazis succeed and no one cared. Many intellectuals preferred not to return to Germany in the 1950ies and early 60ies. 1968, the time of the students' uprising, was the turning point:
The younger generations asked questions about the past. The country changed a lot in the aftermath.
The few “hardliners” could be recognized by their gait: Faster. More dedicated. Fixing with her eyes. They really were different. They mocked democracy and everything that goes with it. Not only that, they grinned and wore their caps at a certain angle, as can be seen in photographs of Wehrmacht daredevils: an odd mixture of courage and stubbornness, as well as a willingness to immediately stand at attention when needed and instructed, and to carry out any command uncritically.
I think they promised their wives not to talk too much. But occasionally, they did. They still internally wore the “Führer's uniform” and saw an authoritarian regime as the most effective way to run a country. They often reassembled into organizations like the firefighters, whose uniforms—and commands—were oddly similar to those of the Wehrmacht.
And what about their attitude to Nazism?
No one I talked to, told me, he or she wanted the Nazis back. I wouldn't put this up too high, for speaking out for the Nazis in public is prosecuted for criminal law. No law was needed to keep the Germans from going to war again. WWII seemed to have been a fundamental threat to almost everyone's life. Nevertheless, deep in their hearts many still felt for Hitler, as you can tell from phrases like "Under Adolf this wouldn't have happened", e.g. when talking about how to deal with unemployment or how to make the lazy hippie guys of the 60ies and 70ies go to work. I remember some bad arguments between them and the younger generations, which often ended in yelling "Wenn's euch nicht passt, geht doch rüber!" ("If you don't like it here, move to East Germany!"). To me, the most shocking experience was their readiness, to lock people up in forced labor camps and "cure" misbehavior through hard, physical work. "A short trial, and then put them in front of the wall and: Ratatatatata!"
Yes, the Nazi soldiers, and their whole generation were confronted with the past by their children or grandchildren, but I cannot recall a single veteran, who in a discussion, changed sides or openly argued against the Nazis. The poison still worked. They didn't tell us all. It was as if the Nazis had a grip on them until their last breath. They died one by one. Six of us lend a hand as we carried the coffin.
Many of us do not know what exactly grandpa had done, and yes, this is some kind of burden.
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